A Miraculous Healing Journey
Severely traumatized autistic person
recovering from a debilitating schizophrenia
and a mysterious psychosis.
It's a journey through the destitution of homelessness, the degrading cruelty of a psych ward, the unfathomable anguish of ghosts and demons, and an unbelievable mystical terror.
Miraculousness
Joshua McLemore and Lashawn Thompson, my people, shizophrenic homeless guys, were tortured to death in the padded rooms of United States prisons (one of them before he ever even saw a court hearing).
Torture, institutional cruelty, solitary confinement, schizophrenic horror — these are all lived experiences for Lashawn, Joshua and myself. This is so unrelatable to so many people that I often feel more kinship and commonality with Lashawn and Joshua than I do with anyone who could possibly be reading this.
In addition to timing — they were tortured at the end of their lives and I during my early childhood — what distinguishes me from them is a long journey of countless miracles.
No Healing in Babylon
It's much less bad, I often think, to be tortured to death than to be tortured at the beginning of life because when you survive being tortured you're forever damaged by it and condemned to live in this hell where no healing can be found. What a hell it is.
No healing for traumatized folks
The "psychotherapy" that insurance companies pay for does not heal severe PTSD. This is known, now, and in decades past it was common that institutions and communities would simply traumatize traumatized people further. Still, that's how it is for a homeless person with PTSD, we don't get any healing and only incur more traumatization.
No healing for schizophrenics
Dr Eleanor Longden describes in her excellent Ted Talk of her experience of the routine psychiatric crime of being drugged and discarded by an industry that's incapable of helping us. What led to her healing was taking the opposite approach of industry norms, instead of treating the condition as a set of symptoms to suppress (suppressed via the chemical experiments of mystically-ignorant scientists employed profit-driven corporations) she embraced the experience as worthy of exploration and a journey to be made.
And then there are Ghosts…
…which, again, like the other conditions, there's nothing any doctor priest or therapist can help you with.
HEALING
My first time healing myself when a doctor couldn't was in highschool with a sprawling case of planter warts.
You are a Tree
A tree with Roots
Roots and Crown
Crown is a crown of Light
A Halo
You are a Tree and you are the Earth
In your Earth Body your Heart is a geographic region
Go there.
Step into the land of your heart.
Love is a Breath Away.
Healing is a significant topic in my book.
Sharing my story
I'm interested in using my story as a tool for change. The systems are so bad, horrendous, really, and the solutions are so simple.
The journey's not over…
What I personally need in order to heal is so simple, yet unavailable, so my condition exacerbates and worsens, and has me in a bit of a crisis. I could certainly use some help.
Most upsetting is lacking ammenity to do my work.